Wednesday, December 14, 2011


Here we are at another Christmas time. I love Christmas. I love decorating, baking, having parties. I love buying presents and watching the face of the recipient when you got the "right" thing. I love the smells, the lights, the music. I love it all. I get so excited for this time of year.

This year I am full of such joy. I have been so down lately. I have just felt like a chunk of our family is missing. I feel like this is a journey that is lasting forever. I think I had a time line in my head and now we are so far past it I can't even picture an end. I have been stretched these past few months. However, in this season I am so overwhelmed with joy of Christ's birth I feel somehow less desperate. Don't get me wrong. My deep desire for my baby is still as strong as ever. I am just so thankful for this season. We have been doing a Jesse tree this year as a family to celebrate advent. I love the chance each day to read God's word to my boys and think about what Christmas is all about.

There is a version of the Christmas carol Joy to the World that sings "Joy, unspeakable Joy. An overflowing well that none can tell." I love the song. When it comes on the radio I scream it as loud as I can. I can't explain it, but I am so thankful that Christ still can fill my heart with joy. Even in the midst of my desperate longing and sadness because I miss our little girl so much. God is SO GOOD! I feel so confident that this is where we are supposed to be. We are asked constantly if we have changed our plans. With all the delays going on will we try to get pregnant or give up on the whole adoption thing. Trust me we have had that conversation. But that isn't where we are supposed to be. We are supposed to wait for our daughter. She is worth waiting for.

Today for our reading we read in Isaiah 9:6-7
For to us a child is born,
   to us a son is given;
and the government shall be upon his shoulder,
   and his name shall be called
Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God,
    Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.
Of the increase of his government and of peace
    there will be no end,
on the throne of David and over his kingdom,
   to establish it and to uphold it
with justice and with righteousness
   from this time forth and forevermore.
The zeal of the LORD of hosts will do this.

This is Isaiah, not even in the New Testament. We are talking a REALLY long wait for a baby. However, God had perfect timing as always. Jesus was born long after this passage was written, and He was born at the perfect time and place.

So, we continue to wait for our baby. We continue to miss her, cry for her, long for her. We continue to plan for her, save for her, and pray for her. But we know God has a perfect plan. This is part of it. It will be a story we will tell her about. For now I am so thankful for Christmas and the hope it is renewing in me. 

Monday, November 14, 2011

Being still

I know it has been awhile since I last posted. I am finding that there is little to update. We will reach our 1 year mark of waiting this week. I was really struggling with that. Because when we started the wait time was 7-11 months and many people were flying threw in much less time than that.

The wait time now is 11-18 months. The wait is painful, but I know there is a reason. There was a girl referral this past week. I find that any movement keeps me going. It usually lasts about a week or two and then I'm back to pitiful.

I was talking with a close friend about a week ago. I was just pouring out my heart and how I felt so stuck. I feel like with no movement in the adoption I don't know what to do next. We have no major event going on. Nothing to put a bunch of energy into. Nothing to plan. Nothing to prepare for. At least, that is how it feels sometimes. My friend stopped me and reminded me of Psalm 46:10 "Be STILL and know that I am God." Ah, wisdom.

There is just something so hard for me about being still, but it is where God wants me. Not that life here with 3 crazy little boys doesn't keep me moving. We are not typically very physically still. Yet, in the stillness of the adoption process right now I must remember who is God. Today when I opened my Bible to my devotions this was the verse that awaited me. I think that God may be trying to teach me something through this verse I have heard so many times.

Monday, September 19, 2011

10 Months

Today is special for a few reasons. The first is that we have reached the 10 month mark. I honestly thought our baby girl would be home by  now...but she isn't. She isn't even close. She may not even be born.

Today is also special because it is Asher's birthday! He is four years old today. He is growing up so fast. How crazy that he was only 2 when we started this whole process. I'm so proud of the little man he is becoming.

Adoption in some ways seems like a far away fairy tale. I know she will come home, but most days it doesn't feel like it. We have her bed and bedding. We have her clothes. We even have her name, but we just don't have her. Again, I don't want to complain, but we do miss her.

So, happy Birthday to Asher and Happy 10 month mark to our journey. 

Sunday, August 21, 2011

9 months

We officially hit the nine month mark this past Friday. Hmm we could be in labor at this point. Or if we are counting from the beginning we could have a 5 month old. I know that isn't how this process works, but sometimes it is a perspective I can't help but think of.

Friday we took the boys to grab some Cheesecake and run around for a bit. Then we hopped over to the bookstore. We love the bookstore. I love a book. Even if I have very little time to read. Books are fun. When I was pregnant with Isaac I read everything I could get my hands on. "What to expect", "pregnancy sucks", magazines, any pamphlet the doctor sent home, you get the picture. There are no shortage of books on pregnancy. So for fun, I thought I'd see what ole Books and Co. had to offer on adoption. There were shelves and shelves on pregnancy, but only one single shelf on a case labeled adoption. And on that shelf only one book actually about adoption.  "Chicken soup for the adopted soul"...Really? This is it? Come on! I ran into this at other bookstores as well, but it was in the beginning of the process. Now this seems so much more offensive. 

It got me to thinking. I am so surrounded by adoption. I forget it isn't the norm. We are blessed to have so many friends who have adopted or are adopting. We have friends who may not feel personally called to adopt, but they love adoption. They are supportive of it. I forget that most adoption is not the majority.

I'm so thankful for all the people that surround us. It makes this journey a little lighter when you can share your load along the way. It is still hard though. The infant girl line at our agency is moving very slow. So slow that we haven't seen a girl referral since April and she was 16 months old. To say it is discouraging is an understatement. It is hard having no idea what a timeline looks like for when our baby girl will come home.

God is teaching me so much through it all though. I know that his timing is perfect. I know that we have peace that we are where we are supposed to be. God is teaching me to let go of some of my plans. I need to control my life with my plans and my timing. I realized I was viewing God as having the ability to interrupt my plans, but they were still MINE.  I love the verse Jeremiah 29:11
"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD..."  God has HIS plans for me. I think I felt like he can take a look at my plans and tweak them as he likes. So amazing how much control I still try to have.

All along God has been working on patience with me. Honestly, God has been trying to beat patience into me for many years. I'm a work in progress. This whole time I have thought that was a huge thing God was trying to work on me with this wait. However, something God showed me is that some of this lesson is about anticipation. I am so anxious for our baby to come home. I am preparing for her. We are putting any extra money toward her. I pray for her. I yearn for her. I ache for her. I talk about her all the time. But, how often do I wait with such anticipation for the return of Jesus. I have never  met this child. I don't know what she looks like, who she is, or if she is even born, but her coming home is such an amazing thought to me. I can't be honest and say I put that much energy or excitement into my Lord, my Savior, my Jesus returning to bring home his bride. Yes, when I think about it I am, of course, overwhelmed with anticipation. But, it isn't in my thoughts nearly as much as it should be. Through the anticipation of bring home our daughter. God is teaching me to anticipate his son.

Please keep praying for Ethiopia. Pray for our agency America World. Please pray for us as we wait. Please pray for our daughter. Please pray for her birth family. Please pray for this process as it has been long and slow. Thank you so much for your prayers.

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Keep waiting

We just received an email from our family coordinator at AWAA.  We figured it was coming, but we got the official word today that wait times have been moved up to 11-18 months. We will be at 8 months this month on the 19th. Looks as though we will keep waiting on our little girl.

The good news is that MOWCYA is officially processing 15 letters a day now. That is up from the 5 a day that was set a few months ago. We are coming up on court closures very soon. Due to the rainy season Ethiopia closes it's courts for about 2 months. This will hopefully give the other offices time to get caught up. We are still hopefully we will receive our referral this year. Starting in January some of our paperwork will need to start being renewed. This is turning into quite the journey.

At the end of the day. God is good. God has perfect timing and He has the perfect little girl for our family.

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

How many kids do you have?

I get this question a lot. "So, how many kids do you have?" You wouldn't think that my answer would take a whole paragraph to explain. However, in my case it does. I already feel like we are a family of six. I forget I only have 3 children legally.  I should have 4.

Even though our family pictures only show 3 little boys there is this SUPER SPECIAL little girl missing. I know she will be in them eventually, but in some ways it feels like forever. I know once she is here the wait will be just a memory, but while we are in it I'm anxious for it to be over. I am so excited to have her here. I know there will be mountains to climb once she is here. I get that. But we have 4 kids not just 3. I am constantly counting heads and feeling like I am one short. I'm sure this makes no sense, but I just feel like our family is missing some one.

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

7 months

As usual this is a few days late. As of Sunday we have been waiting 7 months. That is officially the range our agency gave us when we started when we started as the "referral range". Most referrals happen within 7-11 months. However, at this point, with the situation in Ethiopia there is a good chance we will be waiting longer than that.

We are very anxious and excited to meet our baby girl. There is a big empty baby girl shaped hole in our family. God is very much stretching us. He is teaching me not only to wait, but to depend on him while I do so. Today we have a conference call. I'm praying they will have good news for us. We have to stay hopeful.

We are so thankful for your continued prayers. Please pray for the Ethiopian government. Pray that there are significant changes in the process that help more orphans find their forever families. Pray for our baby girl. And please pray for our family as we miss her so.

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

I'm sitting in my parent's living room in AZ. I had the opportunity to come out to help my mom after her surgery. She is doing very well. Today she is at the doc and they may even be taking out her staples. She still has a little way to go to her full recovery, but she is getting around pretty well for having just had her surgery a little over a week ago. They are pretty sure they got all of the cancer which is great news.

Just wanted to give an updated. Thanks for your prayers.

Monday, June 6, 2011

Prayer Request

While this is not adoption related I have a prayer request. My mom will be going in for surgery today. A few months ago they found some cancer on her kidney. They will be cutting out the majority of that kidney this morning. I know she is nervous. This is a long recovery and a big surgery. I'd love if there were many people who would be willing to pray for her. Her name is Ellen. I know God is so much bigger than cancer. He is our creator and our healer. Thank you ahead of time for joining my family in prayer. This means so much.

Friday, May 20, 2011

6 months

Technically, we were DTE 6 months yesterday, but I am a little late to get to posting. We are seeing very little movement these days. I am trying to prepare myself for a longer wait then we had earlier anticipated. Ethiopia has officially said they are going to 5 letters a day now. However, from what it sounds like there is little consistency. Some days they only do 5 some days they still do a few more. Either way, wait times will probably be longer.

So, while we wait we try and stay busy here. This weekend we are going to take a quick trip. We will be leaving this afternoon to go to see some friends. Tomorrow we will go back to our home town for a retirement party of a family friend. Then we will be jumping up to MI to see my grandma for dinner. Sunday we will be stopping by Fort Wayne on our way home to go to the zoo with some other friends. It should be a crazy and fun weekend.

We are approaching summer and that will come with lots of fun cookouts, swimming, and a little traveling. I will be going out to see my family in AZ in June. My mom is having surgery so I will be going out to spend some time (hopefully) being helpful. Dan's 10 year high school reunion is this summer as well. Also, Dan will be starting a new job next week. We are continuing to homeschool a bit through the summer as well. A lot of things to keep us distracted during this season of waiting.

I would be lying though if I told you that made it easier. It causes the time to go by for sure, but each and everyday we pray for our daughter, Ethiopia, and other families who are waiting to bring their babies home. Each day I miss my little girl I've never met. And each day I think about how much we love her. The boys are constantly asking about her and Africa. I love the way this has opened up their little minds to look outside of their own bubble. God is faithful and he has our little girl in his arms. So for now we keep waiting. 6 months down.

Monday, May 9, 2011


This has been one of those weeks when the waiting is hard. I was so hoping to see a rush of referrals, and yet there have been none. I knew we wouldn't be getting "the call", but to move up on the waiting list would have just been a good boost.

I am missing my baby that I haven't even met. I don't want to sound silly. I mean, I have 3 amazing little boys. They bring me joy daily. However, I feel like we are missing one little piece this mother's day. I'm so ready for the chaos that another little one will bring. I am so ready for a picture of her precious face. I'm so anxious to hold her and snuggle her. It makes my heart hurt that she isn't here. It is strange to miss some one so much that may not even be born yet.

The waiting feels a little like a rollercoaster. Some days I am at total peace. I am just waiting, praying, knowing God is in control. I am good at letting him take this. His timing is perfect. Once she comes home this part will seem so far away. I live in those thoughts most of the time, but not this week. This week I am struggling . This week I want to see movement. This week my prayers feel like pleading. This week I am trying to remember that God is bigger than all of this. I know he is. I know God's plan for our family so much bigger than what I see and feel right now.

I will be praying this week that God uses this stage to teach me. I am not good at waiting and maybe God knew that I would need some extra practice. The end will be so worth the wait.

Monday, April 11, 2011

This week has been interesting. I feel like there are a lot of unknowns with adoption right now. I feel a little like life is on hold until our little girl is home. So many things have to stay still until the adoption is complete. I find myself sometimes wondering what the future will look like. I get nervous about how money will pan out and how timing will work. All our kids are close in age. Will there be a big gap between this daughter and the boys. How long will this go? Will we be stuck in this house forever? Silly questions, really. As I was praying God brought this passage to mind and I thought I would share it with you. 

Matthew 6:25-34

Do Not Worry
    25 “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? 26 Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27 Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life[a]?    28 “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29 Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30 If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? 31 So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

I am a planner, but sometimes I find my planning turning to worry. I have to be careful that I give my future to the Lord and focus on what he has called me to right now. Right now, God has me in position of mommy to three wonderful little boys and a wife to an amazing man. Right now, God has provided a home, food, and many many blessings for us to enjoy. Right now, God has called us to wait and to learn lots of stuff he has to teach us to prepare us for what he has for tomorrow. 

Friday, April 8, 2011


So, much changes in the blink of an eye in adoption. I am learning that everything can cause possible hiccups. Our agency just posted this on their blog.  If the government does in fact shut down. This will cause some possible delays. Please continue to pray with us for Ethiopia and adoptions as there are several other aspects that could potentially cause more delays.

We are trying to remember that God has a plan and his timing is perfect. This is sometimes hard because it feels a little like we are living in limbo. Again, we know this is only a time, but it is a struggle at times to know what all God is doing with this.

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Movin on up!

This week we went to a home school conference and had a blast. We were able to go to some very encouraging sessions, get all our homeschool goodies, spend time with our friends, meet some new friends who are also in the adoption process and also some who have brought their baby home, and had some much needed rest and time with just Dan and I. We had such a great time.

While we were there we went to Starbucks each morning to check our email and of course have some amazing coffee (Oh, peppermint mocha, how I love thee!) When I was looking at the Yahoo group I saw that there were lots of referrals!! So many that we moved up 5 spaces! We are number 20 on the list! (it is the unofficial list, but whatever it gives me a number. :)  We are so excited to see things moving again. It is encouraging to hear that some of the scary changes have actually improved things. I love that God can use stuff for his glory that our minds see as obstacles.

We are just praying that more people continue to pass court quickly so the referrals can continue to come. We are waiting and continuing to fundraise/save for the rest of the costs. We are so excited that God has provided so much so that we now are just saving for travel (about $10,000 more) God has been so faithful and I just can't wait to see the details that he has in store for our little girl's story. Again thank you to all who are continuing to pray with us as we go on this journey. We are so blessed.

Thursday, March 24, 2011

four and some change

Well, I have not done a very good job at keeping every one updated. Partially because there hasn't been much worth updating. We have been keeping very busy and the time is starting to fly by. We have been officially waiting over four months now. With all of the changes going on with Ethiopian adoption we are not sure for now what the time frame will look like. Our agency is still saying 7-11 months for a referral so hopefully that is the case. We are so excited to see our little girl.

In the mean time we have been busy with lots of other good things. Apex had a night of worship and graciously allowed us to sell cookies during the evening. We again joined up with the Rogers and the fun began.

We had so many people donate so many cookies. Our house church baked 26 dozen cookies. Dan and his brother and some friends baked 30 dozen. So we had COOKIES! Every one again was so generous. From bringing cookies to donating we were so blessed and thankful. With each fundraiser we get closer to funding the adoption. With each month that passes we get closer to bringing home our little one. :)

Thursday, March 10, 2011


Today I saw this posted on the intercountry adoption page. It looks like the adoption process could be taking significantly longer than originally thought.  I know the roller coaster of emotions has only begun. We are trying to put our complete trust in the Lord because we know he is sovereign.

For now, I have to learn to be content. At this moment this adoption is putting us in a freeze. You see, for the past 10 years my life has been a whirlwind of constant happenings. I met Dan, I graduated high school, went to college, got engaged, moved into an apartment on my own, got married, moved into an apartment with Dan in Lafayette, he graduated college, we bought a home, we moved to OH, found out we were having a baby, had Isaac, got pregnant really quick, had a miscarriage, got pregnant really quick again, had Asher, made it to a first birthday not pregnant, got pregnant the next month, had Levi, realized we had grown out of our home, saved up a down payment and put our house on the market, God made it clear the down payment for a house was actually for an adoption.

I can tell you that many of these happenings were not in our timing. We knew we were getting married, but we ended up moving that up a year. We bought our house with the intention of living here for 2-3 years and moving into something bigger. We have lived here almost 6 years. We figured we would maybe have one baby in this house. Surprise we had 3 and plan on a fourth here. Our babies have all come quickly. In fact, most of the things in our lives have come quickly. Even if we hadn't planned on them coming so quickly. When we started the adoption paperwork we anticipated 18 months to 2 years until little girl would be home. Now, we are really unsure of any time frame. The significant delays could be months or years. We have no idea. We are stalled. We are stuck.

So now, in this chapter, I believe God is teaching me to be ok where I am. He has spent the last few years showing me that his timing is way better than my own. I wouldn't change any of my boys birthdays. So, I know God has our little girl's birthday in mind too. It may not fit on my plan. She may not be here for the fall pictures like I had hoped. She may not wear the Christmas dress I have already for her. But when she finally does get here we will rejoice all the more. She is so loved already. I can't wait to hold her and have her here. Until then I will wait. I will know God has her safe in his arms. I will anxiously see what God has to teach me in the waiting. And I will work on enjoying the blessings I am surrounded with right now.

Saturday, March 5, 2011

Please join us in prayer

Last night we received this email from our agency.

We are writing to ask your family to join us in prayer for the Ministry of Women and Children’s Affairs (MOWA) regarding the number of cases they will be able to process each day. They have made statements that they desire to decrease the number of recommendation letters they write each day. We understand that because of these statements, the Court and MOWA are in the process of meeting to discuss and work out any potential changes or new processes regarding adoptions in Ethiopia. We want to blanket these meetings with prayer and ask you to come along side us in this.   

We are sorry to be sending information to your family so late in the day but we wanted to communicate this request to you before the weekend. We know rumors and concerns can arise from any information being shared in the adoption community and our desire is to continue to primarily provide you with any confirmed information in a timely manner. Please rest assured we will continue to seek information on what is happening in the adoption process in Ethiopia and will share with you any new confirmed information we receive.  

So we will be praying in our home. I know many other families who are also praying with us. We don't know what this means for us right now with the adoption. It may not change anything, but there is a chance it could slow our adoption process down dramatically. 

Also, if you are praying for Ethiopian adoption and MOWA please keep us in prayer. I know with out a shadow of a doubt that God is so much bigger than this. He has it under control. He knew about this before we started thinking about adoption. He has our little girl in his hands. But this side of the situation it is hard. We just want her home. We want her in our arms. I have clothes friends have given us for her that I don't know if she will ever fit in. I can't wait to hold her. The boys are asking more often when their sister is coming home, and I don't know.  Me the human, impatient, control freak wants the answers, and I have to be content that God just has it. So, please pray for me and our family as we attempt to put it all in God's hands and not hold back any worry or fear.  Ultimately God is so good!

" For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11

Thursday, February 10, 2011


This week the boys and I have embarked on our first no daddy vacation. This is not by choice, but we are saving up Dan's vacation time for a very exciting trip (to Ethiopia...twice). Much of my family is out in AZ and we hadn't been to visit in a long time. It was at least before Levi was born. So, Tuesday I packed up the boys we did our normal Tuesday school thing. They had a fun Valentines day party. Then we went to our favorite place for Chicken and grabbed some nuggets (Holla for some Chick fil A). Then we got in the car and drove to South Bend, IN. Car trip was amazing. Every one napped. I got to chat with one of my BFFs for about an hour. Listened to one of my Dave Ramsey CDs and then we jammed out to some Veggie tales.

Wed we headed to the airport. Got checked in went through security and all went well. We rode a budget airline who is not super kid friendly. It was like the running of the bulls getting on this plane. From there it went down hill...They started boarding 45 mins before they were supposed to leave I was there 2 hours early so we were ready. However, being the super cheap frugal gal that I am I opted not to spend extra to board early (mistake number one). Then we boarded each big boy had a back pack, I had a backpack, a baby and a diaper bag, and a rolling suitcase. They had us walk up a set of stairs to the plane and just watched as Levi tried to wiggle out of my arms. As I was trying to find my seat one of the stewardess asked if she could check my rolling suitcase which had all our extra clothes in it. I had just checked Levi and he was totally dry so I said sure. We found our seats and got settled. As soon as we sat down Levi peed out all over me. I quickly changed his diaper on my lap, but we had to stay in our yucky clothes. Isaac and Asher were perfect through all this may I say. They were so excited. They played quietly ate snacks, and enjoy the flight. Then there was my precious baby who had apparently been possessed by the plane demon upon entry. Screaming kicking, hitting seats, stepping on his brothers. I did get him to sleep for a little over an hour (best part of the trip). Then he woke up during our descent and was ANGRY. Not quite as angry as the elderly lady sitting next to us, but he was mad.

Honestly we had a good flight with minimal issues, but  flying with a lapchild is less than ideal. It made me think about our trip home with our baby girl. This poor baby will be completely out of her element. With these two strangers for a really long time in a really short space. I don't know what that will look like, but I have a feeling God may have been giving me some practice before the big trip. All that being said I am still ready to get on the plane and go get her. (even though we still have a long while before that happens.)

The funny part about the whole trip is that we got off the plane and Levi was happy and sweet. You would never have thought he had just given his mama such a hard time. :) He slept well last night and today has been having fun at Gigi's and Pop pop's. Isaac is having a blast. He and Asher had a tennis lesson today. And now he and my mom are swimming. Asher is taking a nap and I am hanging out with my baby  for a bit. Tonight we get to go to the restaurant\my dad works at. Yum. We are spending time with my grandparents and Aunt and Uncle. It will be a fun week. We are missing Daddy though. It will be worth getting back on a plane to go home and see him.

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Adoption freebie

I'm super excited about this freebie. You can download Adopted for Life FREE! I haven't read (or listened) to this yet, but I have heard it is a great book.

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Ethiopia Video

I found this video on another adoption blog. It was too good not to share.

2 Months!

We have been waiting for 2 months as of today! The wait time right now for an infant girl is still 7-11 months. I have been so encouraged lately by several of our friends who are in process or who have brought their children home. This wait seems so long, and there are no exacts. It is such a growing process for me.

Monday night I was feeling very discouraged. I was sitting filling out paper work for grants. First my mind went to funding. HOW ARE WE EVER GOING TO PAY FOR THIS? When we started this journey I sat down with my friend the calculator. I figured if we save x amount, Dan should get X amount for his bonus, I can do X amount in extras to bring in money. But my plans are human plans. Bonuses were record low this year, something major has come up each month keeping us from saving the full amount planned, and my extra money making is not consistent.

I remember talking to a friend right after we had started all of this. We were discussing the cost and she said something that just rings so true. I told her the adoption cost and her response was "That's awesome. because you know you can't do it. Only God can fund that!" That has been some of the best truth. I tell myself that constantly.

So back to Monday, I was already a little frazzled and lies were beginning to creep in. As I am filling out a application there are several questions about attachment and how we plan to handle this. Again more lies start flooding in and fear starts to creep in. I decided to take a break and head over to the Yahoo group for our agency. Some one was asking about hair products. By this point I am already an internal mess. I start thinking about hair. What am I going to do with this girl's hair?! I can hardly braid my own hair. This is a mess.

God is good and he gave me a husband who is sane. (Praise the Lord, one of us needs to be) So he told me it was time for bed and we shut down for the night. The next morning I ran into a friend at the store who is also in process for a little girl from Ethiopia. Their wait has been so much longer than anticipated (they are with another agency). It was so good just to get her perspective that the wait is long, but when our girls are home it just won't matter any more.

In filling out the application we realized God has provided over $11,000 already. The realization came to me that I am just like the children of Israel in the desert. God continues to provide over and over and yet I am still not putting all my faith in him. Shame on me. God has made it clear it is his plan for us to grow our family through adoption. He LOVES adoption. Of course he will provide. Yes, our daughter may take time to adjust, but there is no need for fear God has this under control. And the hair thing, seriously, I am ridiculous!

So, there is my brain purge for the evening. All said and done. God is faithful, He is good, He loves us and cares for us. And some day that will sink in to my thick skull and STAY there. I love that God is using this process not just as a time to wait, but as a time to refine me. He is teaching me so much right now. GOD IS GOOD.

Thursday, January 6, 2011

Things to come

Yet another day where I sit and longingly wish we were closer to getting our baby girl home. However, God is good to keep me busy and we have lots to be excited for during our wait.

Coming up:
-Tonight we are going bowling to celebrate a friend's 30th b day.
-This weekend we have no plans!!! I think we might try and take the kids to go see Mega mind now that it is in the cheap seats. Or go to the Cinci children's museum. Either way family time!!
-Back to babysitting next week. Yay for baby money!
- Going out west to see my fam in AZ in Feb
- Isaac turns five in Feb. and Dan will turn 28 so we will be partying it up. :)
-End of March we will be going to a home school conference. We booked our hotel room. Now all we need is a sitter and we have a productive get away for us.
-Getting ready to put together a few more  fundraisers. Yay, for more baby money!

What's funny is that we are less crazy than normal. It is kind of nice. However, busy is good. It keeps me going and time passing. So, hopefully we will keep busy until our referral. :)