This has been one of those weeks when the waiting is hard. I was so hoping to see a rush of referrals, and yet there have been none. I knew we wouldn't be getting "the call", but to move up on the waiting list would have just been a good boost.
I am missing my baby that I haven't even met. I don't want to sound silly. I mean, I have 3 amazing little boys. They bring me joy daily. However, I feel like we are missing one little piece this mother's day. I'm so ready for the chaos that another little one will bring. I am so ready for a picture of her precious face. I'm so anxious to hold her and snuggle her. It makes my heart hurt that she isn't here. It is strange to miss some one so much that may not even be born yet.
The waiting feels a little like a rollercoaster. Some days I am at total peace. I am just waiting, praying, knowing God is in control. I am good at letting him take this. His timing is perfect. Once she comes home this part will seem so far away. I live in those thoughts most of the time, but not this week. This week I am struggling . This week I want to see movement. This week my prayers feel like pleading. This week I am trying to remember that God is bigger than all of this. I know he is. I know God's plan for our family so much bigger than what I see and feel right now.
I will be praying this week that God uses this stage to teach me. I am not good at waiting and maybe God knew that I would need some extra practice. The end will be so worth the wait.
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