contentment

Today I saw this posted on the intercountry adoption page. It looks like the adoption process could be taking significantly longer than originally thought.  I know the roller coaster of emotions has only begun. We are trying to put our complete trust in the Lord because we know he is sovereign.

For now, I have to learn to be content. At this moment this adoption is putting us in a freeze. You see, for the past 10 years my life has been a whirlwind of constant happenings. I met Dan, I graduated high school, went to college, got engaged, moved into an apartment on my own, got married, moved into an apartment with Dan in Lafayette, he graduated college, we bought a home, we moved to OH, found out we were having a baby, had Isaac, got pregnant really quick, had a miscarriage, got pregnant really quick again, had Asher, made it to a first birthday not pregnant, got pregnant the next month, had Levi, realized we had grown out of our home, saved up a down payment and put our house on the market, God made it clear the down payment for a house was actually for an adoption.

I can tell you that many of these happenings were not in our timing. We knew we were getting married, but we ended up moving that up a year. We bought our house with the intention of living here for 2-3 years and moving into something bigger. We have lived here almost 6 years. We figured we would maybe have one baby in this house. Surprise we had 3 and plan on a fourth here. Our babies have all come quickly. In fact, most of the things in our lives have come quickly. Even if we hadn't planned on them coming so quickly. When we started the adoption paperwork we anticipated 18 months to 2 years until little girl would be home. Now, we are really unsure of any time frame. The significant delays could be months or years. We have no idea. We are stalled. We are stuck.

So now, in this chapter, I believe God is teaching me to be ok where I am. He has spent the last few years showing me that his timing is way better than my own. I wouldn't change any of my boys birthdays. So, I know God has our little girl's birthday in mind too. It may not fit on my plan. She may not be here for the fall pictures like I had hoped. She may not wear the Christmas dress I have already for her. But when she finally does get here we will rejoice all the more. She is so loved already. I can't wait to hold her and have her here. Until then I will wait. I will know God has her safe in his arms. I will anxiously see what God has to teach me in the waiting. And I will work on enjoying the blessings I am surrounded with right now.