Monday, November 14, 2011

Being still

I know it has been awhile since I last posted. I am finding that there is little to update. We will reach our 1 year mark of waiting this week. I was really struggling with that. Because when we started the wait time was 7-11 months and many people were flying threw in much less time than that.

The wait time now is 11-18 months. The wait is painful, but I know there is a reason. There was a girl referral this past week. I find that any movement keeps me going. It usually lasts about a week or two and then I'm back to pitiful.

I was talking with a close friend about a week ago. I was just pouring out my heart and how I felt so stuck. I feel like with no movement in the adoption I don't know what to do next. We have no major event going on. Nothing to put a bunch of energy into. Nothing to plan. Nothing to prepare for. At least, that is how it feels sometimes. My friend stopped me and reminded me of Psalm 46:10 "Be STILL and know that I am God." Ah, wisdom.

There is just something so hard for me about being still, but it is where God wants me. Not that life here with 3 crazy little boys doesn't keep me moving. We are not typically very physically still. Yet, in the stillness of the adoption process right now I must remember who is God. Today when I opened my Bible to my devotions this was the verse that awaited me. I think that God may be trying to teach me something through this verse I have heard so many times.