Monday, November 19, 2012

2 years

Two years ago today we were in Florida visiting our friends for Thanksgiving. We received an email from our family coordinator telling us we were officially DTE. That means that our documents were sent to Ethiopia. We were finally waiting. We were number  31 on the list. Things were moving. The wait time at that point was 7-11 months, but some people were moving much faster. We were getting our girl! We were so excited.

The times have been pushed back several times now. Today makes two years of waiting. I believe we along with one other family have broken a record at our agency. :) This week is a short business week for our agency. We don't anticipate a call before Thanksgiving. They have extended wait times to 18 to 30 months so we may have more time on our hands. As we have seen the wait times are a very rough estimate.

I am thankful for this time though. Since we have been waiting lots of great things have happened. We are blessed beyond measure. We have made friends. We have been blessed by prayers, hugs, and financial support toward our adoption. I have learned so many lessons. It is hard waiting, but I am thankful for the wait. God knows what we can handle, and he never leaves us alone through it. We are praying it is soon that we get the call and see our daughters face. For today, we will be thankful for these two years, and we will pray for patience as we wait on God's timing.

Thursday, November 15, 2012

pins and needles

Ok, so I don't want to think about it, but I can't stop. If we don't get a referral tomorrow we will be waiting at least two years. At this point we have already waited longer than any one else. (To my knowledge), but we will break the two year mark on Monday. Since there is no one in the office on weekends to give referrals tomorrow is our last shot to be within two years.

I would so love to have a referral now before the holidays, but alas, I am trying hard not to get too anxious. I'm just trying to remember that it will come in perfect timing. Dear God, please let tomorrow be perfect!  :)

Wednesday, November 14, 2012

20 weeks

Today is the 20 week mark for being number one. Who knew. I remember like it was yesterday when we found out we were number one. My stomach was in knots. It was all of a sudden real. This thing we had been waiting for was finally going to happen. That was in June. Now it is November and in some ways I feel further away than when we started this whole thing.

God is good. I know He has a plan. I know it is a good plan. I know it is all in His timing. I know that none of this surprises Him. So, I try to just breathe. I try hard to just live. I try to pray and hope and believe.

I am working to find the balance in the wait. The balance between avoiding and obsession. The balance between excitement and fear. The balance between living and longing. The balance between surrender and hope. I fight back tears most days. Once they start it is hard to stop. I want to dream about my baby girl, but I am a little scared because what if none of those dreams work out.

This wait is painful. It is a good pain. I have learned lots. I am still learning lots. I am so blessed. God had protected me from so much. It is good for me to wait. It is good for me to learn to give up all control. It is good for me to have to surrender my plans.

At this point there seems to be no timeline. My heart hurts for those who are below us on the list. Their wait will be even longer unless something drastically changes. The time frame right now is 18-30 months. It was 7-11 for an infant girl when we started. This wait has been unexpected. It has been long, but God knows what was needed. He knows who my daughter is. He knows her personality. He knows her favorite color. He knows every hair on her gorgeous little head. He knows how much this momma loves her. And He loves her even more. She will be worth the wait.

So for now we are praying. We are praying for Ethiopia. We are praying for clearances so these orphans can go home. We are praying for the staff who are caring for our baby. We are praying for others in the program because we are not the only ones waiting. We are praying for the staff at our agency.  We are praying for our daughter that she is safe, warm, has food, and is being loved on until we get her here in our arms. We pray for our family for peace and patience during the wait. We pray we see her face soon, and get to hold her in her arms soon. Most of all we pray God's will be done.