Friday

Ah, yes, it's Friday again. I have such mixed feelings about Friday. On one hand, I love the strong possibility of referrals. On the other hand I hate that I jump every time my phone rings. And my heart sinks when it isn't my agency. Fridays are a tease...So, today I woke up hopeful. I do most mornings. I jump out of bed thinking this could be the day! My stomach goes all butterflies. When I think about getting the call it is like being a Jr. High girl. You know, when the guy you like accidentally brushes up against you and internally your stomach is doing the worm. Yea, that's the feeling I get when I think about the call! We are talking butterflies of EPIC proportions.

So, I got out of bed this morning. As I am praying I felt like God just spoke the word "faithfulness" to me. I realize this is not a burning bush moment or anything, but nonetheless it was what God had for me this morning. He is faithful. Always has been. Always will be. He knows exactly who our daughter is. He knows her name. He knows each hair on her precious little baby head. (Oh, I can't wait to play with that hair!) He knows I yearn for my girl. He knows my heart hurts for her. He gets it. He hasn't left any of us hanging in this. God is faithful. It is who he is. It is his nature. I know he has brought us here. He is not going to leave us in this place forever. (Even if it feels like it some days).

The real test of faith is right about now. It is easy to be hopeful in the morning. But by 2-3 pm you are kind of feeling like this may never happen. I know it will. Trust me. I just feel like we will be waiting forever. So, I reserve this hour as a do nothing kind of time. Wait by the phone. Maybe watch a show, but don't leave the house, take a shower, or call a friend. Heaven forbid, you call a friend and the phone is busy when the agency calls! I know I sound like a freak. I am giving you the honest to goodness truth. By 5pm when the phone hasn't rang on a Friday. I have a good sob. Pray that next week is the week and go on with the weekend.

God is faithful. I know his timing is perfect. When we do get the call we will go absolutely insane and the whole neighborhood will know. I wait for that day with butterflies of anticipation. I know it is coming. I long for it. Who knows, this Friday isn't over. It could still be today. Or next week, or next month, but it will come. We will see our baby girl's face. And it will be the perfect time.