Blessed

Honestly, I have been living in a pity party lately. Life isn't going exactly my way, and I don't want to wait for anything else. When I take a step back and listen to myself I realize how selfish and silly I sound. I am blessed. I am given so much more than I deserve. I am not thankful enough for the truly amazing life I am living right now. Let's be real for a moment, shall we.

I am a child of the KING. I have been shown GRACE that is beyond words, MERCY that is beyond belief, and LOVE that I don't deserve. I am CHOSEN by HIM. I am HIS, and HE is fighting for me.

If that wasn't enough. God has given me:
A husband who is patient, kind, serving, giving, and selfless. Who puts up daily with my poor attitude, and beyond that he loves me through it.
Three precious boys. Who remind me daily of sweet simple blessings. Kisses and hugs and precious little "I love you's" fill my day. Laughing, running, and joke telling fill my home.
A promise of a sweet girl who will join our family. Who will be adored by her parents and brothers. She will have been worth the wait. 
Amazing friends who call, text, and email me encouragement all day long. Women who love on me, speak truth to me, and listen to me even when I don't return the same.
A home that is safe, warm, and cozy. A place where I teach my boys, cook our meals, and we can rest. A place we welcome friends and enjoy our family.
Food to eat, clothes to wear, cars to drive, air to breathe, a healthy body.

I am blessed.

Cave

At one of our local museums there is a cave exhibit. It is very cool. You go into what looks feels and sounds like a real cave. There is dripping water it is dark. They have a path cut out, but you really can't see much until you are right on it. Each time we go my boys are scared to go in. Each time we push them to go. They hold our hand (or arm or torso) and nervously walk through. Each time we take them they get a little bit braver. Now, they know we will be going through. They still ask if we can skip it. But when we get to the exhibit they hesitantly go in. They have been through it enough to know it may be a little scary, but Mom and Dad are with them so they know they will come out on the other end.

I feel a little like I am in a cave. This adoption is dark. We don't know how many curves are in the path. We don't know what is in our way ahead of us. We keep hitting obstacles that make the path harder. Honestly, it is scary. It is unknown. I do know that I am with God on this journey though. I know we will come out on the other side trusting him more. I know it will be ok. While I am here though I find myself asking why he has allowed so many curves on our path. I find myself clinging to him while at the same time begging for him to just get us to the other side.

Yesterday we got word from our agency that MOWCYA had written us an unfavorable letter. This was a huge blow. Their reasoning is that our financial form is outdated. This is especially hard to swallow because they have our updated documents. This delays us even further from receiving a court date. This means even more time that our daughter goes without a family. Our agency plans to request they look over our case again this week because it was their error, but it is unknown if MOWCYA will be willing. They are already trying to play catch up. Please pray with us that MOWCYA will quickly reevaluate and rewrite a favorable letter so that we can go meet our baby. Her birthday is in April, and I am desperately begging God that she is home with us by then. It will only be God that can make that happen at this point. But he is a big God. So it can happen.

We are so thankful for all who are praying with us. It means so much more than words can say. Thank you!