Love Her

I was hoping to blog about our trip while we were there, but with limited internet connection and a very busy schedule our time was somewhat limited. So here is a quick run through of our time in Ethiopia.

We boarded our plane a few minutes after 10 on Thursday. I had never been on this long a flight. The seats were tight. We settled into our spots for the next 14 hours. We got off the plane early Friday morning Ethiopia time. We stood in line for visas, exchanged some money, got our bags and made it through customs. We followed the instructions given to us on where to wait for our guide. We were early so we waited about 45 minutes. I was getting a little nervous because we had no cell phones and no real way to contact anyone. Eventually, we were found. We hopped in a van and headed to the guest house we'd be staying at.

We checked in and got our 250lbs in luggage to our room on the fifth floor. The climb up all those stairs was extra fun with the altitude. Our room was great. It was bigger than my first apartment. It had a great view of the city as well. We quickly changed and freshened up. Then it was time to head over to the transition home to meet our daughter!

The van ride over was full of anticipation. We were so excited and maybe a little nervous. As soon as we got there our guide went in and brought her out to meet us. Our sweet girl was confused and scared. She was brave and kept from crying as these strange people kissed her and hugged her and spoke a language to her she didn't know.

We brought few small things to play with her the first day. She slowly relaxed and let us read to her and snuggle her. She was still very hesitant of us.

The next morning we went and explored Entoto mountain. We got to check out some of the oldest churches in Ethiopia. It was very cool to experience some of the history of our little girl's birth country. The view was amazing. The country side is gorgeous.

After lunch we got to go back to spend some time with our girl. This time she was a little more warmed up to us. We played the afternoon away. She loved doing puzzles and blowing bubbles. She was still a little shy, but she was starting to let her guard down. She also called me mama that afternoon. Of course, my heart melted.

Our trip fell over Easter. We were able to worship at a service in Ethiopia. It was such a blessing to celebrate our risen Savior with brothers and sisters in Christ from the other side of our world. After service we got to go to the transition home. We brought an Easter dress to put Little Miss in. She looked beautiful in it. We are so smitten.

The rest of our days were filled mostly with getting to know our newest family member. Each day when we got to her she was more and more happy. Running to us with outstretched arms. Showing us more smiles. Giving us a little bit of sass. Letting us snuggle her. The last few days she cried when we left. That broke my heart.

On Wednesday we went to court. We were there with two other families from our agency. We all passed. No sweeter words could be heard than "She is yours". Legally Amelia is our daughter! Praise the Lord.

We had to leave the next evening. We made the best of the time we had. We snuggled and sang and played. Leaving was so hard! She cried as we dropped her back off to her nannies. We boarded our plane that night already missing our sweet girl.

Now we are home. Waiting again. Praying that the next few weeks go quickly. Hopefully, there will be more news to update on very soon. Thank you for your continued prayers and encouragement. We are so blessed.

Here we go

Today has been a whirlwind of a day. I got up early to get myself and the boys ready. Shuffled 3 boys and our dog out the door and on the road. I met my sister in law at a McDonalds in the middle of nowhere to give her 3 boys, 1 dog, 5 bags, 3 Easter baskets, and a handful of toys. As we drove separate ways I realized that I already missed them.

Then I drove the hour and a half home. Shuffled a few things around until Dan got home and then we got back in the car. We made our way down to Cincinnati. We had to update our finger prints (again) so we stopped in at the Federal building. We checked that off the list and headed out in search of dinner. We found a Panera and enjoyed a quick kid free meal. You'd think we'd have tons to talk about, but I am pretty sure we are still in shock that this is real.

Onward we went toward the airport. We were early, but that never hurts. So we checked in with our massive amounts of luggage. We made it through security. We stopped for some Starbucks. Then we parked at our gate. Dan napped and I played on my phone until our plane arrived. It was the smallest thing I've ever (well at least that I remember) been on. We had a quick 2 hour jump to DC. We deplaned, gathered our immense pile of bags, and caught a shuttle to our hotel. Due to our overnight layover we get to stay the night in a nice hotel. Get some rest and have a good breakfast before tomorrow.

Tomorrow...oh how that word has haunted me for so many weeks. Each day we were promised tomorrow there would be news. Now tomorrow is really here. We will be boarding a plane in less than 12 hours. A plane that will take us right across the world and land us in Addis Ababa Ethiopia. We will land, go to our hotel, and go meet her. We are talking in just over 24 hours.

I am so excited, and yet a little nervous. We are praying that all goes well. We are so looking forward to meeting our girl and learning about where she comes from. I am excited to hold her and snuggle her and tell her I love her. It is so close. We will try to update as internet access allows. Here we go.

Time lines

Since I was a little girl I pictured my family coming together through both biology and adoption. In January of 2010 God started letting Dan and I know the time had come to pursue our daughter through adoption. Our youngest was 6 months old. That was the year that my new year's resolution was to not get pregnant. We laughed at the irony of what God was calling us to, but He is a God with a sense of humor.

So we started searching for agencies. We asked friends who had adopted. We called places we found online. We received mail with information. We looked into both domestic and international. We decided that fostering wasn't a fit for our family. After praying it through we also crossed off domestic at that time. We narrowed it down to which agency was the best fit for us. Then within that we saw clearly that God was leading us to Ethiopia.

So we sent in our application, and soon we were approved. So it began. We paperchased for about 8 months. We celebrated when we mailed all that paperwork to our agency. I loved paperchasing. It was a to do list. I love having a list. Stuff I can do. It feels like you are moving.

Our dossier was sent to Ethiopia on November 11, 2010. And the wait began. When we started the wait time was 7-11 months, and at that time it was going down. We were number 31 on the list for an infant girl. We waited 2 years for our referral. At that point we had been number 1 on the list for 22 weeks. Finally, our family coordinator called. She told us that there just were no baby girls available. She asked if we'd be willing to take a child who was 19 months.

We talked and decided that if this is the child God has for us then we will rejoice for her. Even if it wasn't our plan. About the time we accepted our referral the courts in Ethiopia decided to change the way they did things...again. The new changes said you had to have a positive letter from MOWCYA (ministry of women children and youth affairs) before they would issue you a court date. When we received our referral it was about 6-12 weeks to be issued a court date. We waited and finally were given the date of January 15 for a MOWCYA letter to be written. We had really hoped she could be home by then, but we were thankful for a timeline. At that point the courts said they would issue a date within 2 weeks of our letter being written. So we packed our bags. We prepared to have to get our kids to a friends and leave with a very short turn around. We were so excited.

January 15 came and went with no letter. A few weeks later we were told that MOWCYA wrote us a negative letter. They said we did not have updated financial statements. We did. It was their error. So they gave us a new date of February 18. Again the days came and went into March with no news. On March 6 they gave us a new date of March 8. No reason. Just to give us a new date. March 8 came and praise the Lord we were issued a positive letter. Most people had been getting their court date that day. We did not. So we waited all the next week.

Thursday March 14 we were told that the court in Ethiopia has lost our file. Our coordinator said we should still get a date in a day or two. That Friday the file was still lost. We had to wait until Monday to hear if we got a court date. The next Monday the court found our file, but the power was out in some parts of Addis so they couldn't assign us a court date.

While we are praising God for his blessings. I can't help but feel a little like we are moving two steps forward and one step back. It is hard not to play the comparison game. I just keep trusting God has a big picture plan that exceeds my right now mentality. He is faithful to complete all good works he starts. I look forward to posting the next steps on our timeline. Because at this point next up should be meeting our daughter!

Tonight

Tonight I am going to bed with three of the sweetest blessings sleeping safe, full, and warm in a bed built by their handsome, caring, wonderful daddy. In a room next to parents who love them. In a house that is warm and safe. I look at that picture and I am so thankful.

Tonight part of my heart is in a bed far away. Tucked in by a nanny who is not her mommy. I don't know if she is sick or scared or hungry or cold. I think about her and my heart aches. I yearn for her. I miss her so much it hurts.

Tonight I am going to bed pleading with my Heavenly Father. Who I know and trust to be sovereign even when I don't understand the immediate situation. A God who loves me and this precious baby girl more than I can fathom. A God that is mighty. He is bigger than politics and paperwork and courts. He has a plan.

Tonight I go to bed hoping for tomorrow, believing His promises, resting in the truth that His mercies are new every morning. I rest in knowing that God is faithful. He has brought us to this place. He will give me strength. He does place the orphan in her home.

Please join us in praying that we are assigned a court date quickly. Pray that we are able bring our daughter home as soon as possible. Please pray for me. My momma heart is ready to explode.  Please pray for our boys because they are missing their baby sister. Please pray for Dan as he waits. Please pray for our little girl who is on the other side of the world waiting to come home to a mommy and daddy and brothers who love her so much. Thank you for you prayers. We so need them right now.

Blessed

Honestly, I have been living in a pity party lately. Life isn't going exactly my way, and I don't want to wait for anything else. When I take a step back and listen to myself I realize how selfish and silly I sound. I am blessed. I am given so much more than I deserve. I am not thankful enough for the truly amazing life I am living right now. Let's be real for a moment, shall we.

I am a child of the KING. I have been shown GRACE that is beyond words, MERCY that is beyond belief, and LOVE that I don't deserve. I am CHOSEN by HIM. I am HIS, and HE is fighting for me.

If that wasn't enough. God has given me:
A husband who is patient, kind, serving, giving, and selfless. Who puts up daily with my poor attitude, and beyond that he loves me through it.
Three precious boys. Who remind me daily of sweet simple blessings. Kisses and hugs and precious little "I love you's" fill my day. Laughing, running, and joke telling fill my home.
A promise of a sweet girl who will join our family. Who will be adored by her parents and brothers. She will have been worth the wait. 
Amazing friends who call, text, and email me encouragement all day long. Women who love on me, speak truth to me, and listen to me even when I don't return the same.
A home that is safe, warm, and cozy. A place where I teach my boys, cook our meals, and we can rest. A place we welcome friends and enjoy our family.
Food to eat, clothes to wear, cars to drive, air to breathe, a healthy body.

I am blessed.

Cave

At one of our local museums there is a cave exhibit. It is very cool. You go into what looks feels and sounds like a real cave. There is dripping water it is dark. They have a path cut out, but you really can't see much until you are right on it. Each time we go my boys are scared to go in. Each time we push them to go. They hold our hand (or arm or torso) and nervously walk through. Each time we take them they get a little bit braver. Now, they know we will be going through. They still ask if we can skip it. But when we get to the exhibit they hesitantly go in. They have been through it enough to know it may be a little scary, but Mom and Dad are with them so they know they will come out on the other end.

I feel a little like I am in a cave. This adoption is dark. We don't know how many curves are in the path. We don't know what is in our way ahead of us. We keep hitting obstacles that make the path harder. Honestly, it is scary. It is unknown. I do know that I am with God on this journey though. I know we will come out on the other side trusting him more. I know it will be ok. While I am here though I find myself asking why he has allowed so many curves on our path. I find myself clinging to him while at the same time begging for him to just get us to the other side.

Yesterday we got word from our agency that MOWCYA had written us an unfavorable letter. This was a huge blow. Their reasoning is that our financial form is outdated. This is especially hard to swallow because they have our updated documents. This delays us even further from receiving a court date. This means even more time that our daughter goes without a family. Our agency plans to request they look over our case again this week because it was their error, but it is unknown if MOWCYA will be willing. They are already trying to play catch up. Please pray with us that MOWCYA will quickly reevaluate and rewrite a favorable letter so that we can go meet our baby. Her birthday is in April, and I am desperately begging God that she is home with us by then. It will only be God that can make that happen at this point. But he is a big God. So it can happen.

We are so thankful for all who are praying with us. It means so much more than words can say. Thank you!

We are getting closer and closer to bringing our little girl home. There are a few delays going on with waiting on a court date, but honestly, I can look at this gorgeous face of MY little girl and the wait is bearable. As we are coming to the end of this stage in our journey we get a lot of questions. One of the big ones is "Isn't adoption expensive?". The answer it YES. It is more money than we could ever save up on our own.

I am a stay at home mom. We live in a cozy home in a comfortable neighborhood. We live within our means. I love to clip coupons and shop clearance. I live for a big trash bag of hand me downs. We try to use cash not acquire debt. My amazing husband is a wonderful provider .He works hard to take care of us. We are very average. We are blessed beyond blessed. We are comfortable. We are happy. We don't have the ability to save up for an adoption. But we have a big God. He isn't going to call us to this and leave us hanging. He didn't put the dream to adopt in our hearts and just wish us luck.

We made a few adjustments to our budget to save. We cut cable. We didn't buy as much stuff as we might have. My friend, hear this, GOD is faithful. He has taken care of each step. He has been in this from before this was even a thought in our minds.  We have done fundraisers. We have been humbled and floored at the generosity of our friends, family, and even those we don't know who have given and supported us. Please understand, we don't have lots of wealthy friends who just wrote us large checks. We have faithful brothers and sisters who gave out of an abundance of God's love. We were blessed many times $10 and $20 at a time. God is faithful. We don't know exactly what the expenses will be that are left. Most are just for travel and those fluctuate, but to our estimates we have enough for the rest of the adoption. GOD is GOOD. He is bigger than any price tag. Please know if he calls you to something that just seems unrealistic. That's because it probably is...for you. I have to look at the huge stuff God has done over the course of the past 3 years and just give Him glory! To God be all the glory.

How cool that he chose our very average family to allow his glory to show. How cool that we will gain a daughter because of his faithfulness. Because of the generosity of so many we have been so blessed. Thank you for your gifts, your encouragement, your prayers. We can't wait to bring our baby girl home. For now I am just overwhelmingly thankful to you all, and pointing to my Lord who deserves all the glory.