I'm sitting in my parent's living room in AZ. I had the opportunity to come out to help my mom after her surgery. She is doing very well. Today she is at the doc and they may even be taking out her staples. She still has a little way to go to her full recovery, but she is getting around pretty well for having just had her surgery a little over a week ago. They are pretty sure they got all of the cancer which is great news.

Just wanted to give an updated. Thanks for your prayers.

Prayer Request

While this is not adoption related I have a prayer request. My mom will be going in for surgery today. A few months ago they found some cancer on her kidney. They will be cutting out the majority of that kidney this morning. I know she is nervous. This is a long recovery and a big surgery. I'd love if there were many people who would be willing to pray for her. Her name is Ellen. I know God is so much bigger than cancer. He is our creator and our healer. Thank you ahead of time for joining my family in prayer. This means so much.

6 months

Technically, we were DTE 6 months yesterday, but I am a little late to get to posting. We are seeing very little movement these days. I am trying to prepare myself for a longer wait then we had earlier anticipated. Ethiopia has officially said they are going to 5 letters a day now. However, from what it sounds like there is little consistency. Some days they only do 5 some days they still do a few more. Either way, wait times will probably be longer.

So, while we wait we try and stay busy here. This weekend we are going to take a quick trip. We will be leaving this afternoon to go to see some friends. Tomorrow we will go back to our home town for a retirement party of a family friend. Then we will be jumping up to MI to see my grandma for dinner. Sunday we will be stopping by Fort Wayne on our way home to go to the zoo with some other friends. It should be a crazy and fun weekend.

We are approaching summer and that will come with lots of fun cookouts, swimming, and a little traveling. I will be going out to see my family in AZ in June. My mom is having surgery so I will be going out to spend some time (hopefully) being helpful. Dan's 10 year high school reunion is this summer as well. Also, Dan will be starting a new job next week. We are continuing to homeschool a bit through the summer as well. A lot of things to keep us distracted during this season of waiting.

I would be lying though if I told you that made it easier. It causes the time to go by for sure, but each and everyday we pray for our daughter, Ethiopia, and other families who are waiting to bring their babies home. Each day I miss my little girl I've never met. And each day I think about how much we love her. The boys are constantly asking about her and Africa. I love the way this has opened up their little minds to look outside of their own bubble. God is faithful and he has our little girl in his arms. So for now we keep waiting. 6 months down.

Waiting

This has been one of those weeks when the waiting is hard. I was so hoping to see a rush of referrals, and yet there have been none. I knew we wouldn't be getting "the call", but to move up on the waiting list would have just been a good boost.

I am missing my baby that I haven't even met. I don't want to sound silly. I mean, I have 3 amazing little boys. They bring me joy daily. However, I feel like we are missing one little piece this mother's day. I'm so ready for the chaos that another little one will bring. I am so ready for a picture of her precious face. I'm so anxious to hold her and snuggle her. It makes my heart hurt that she isn't here. It is strange to miss some one so much that may not even be born yet.

The waiting feels a little like a rollercoaster. Some days I am at total peace. I am just waiting, praying, knowing God is in control. I am good at letting him take this. His timing is perfect. Once she comes home this part will seem so far away. I live in those thoughts most of the time, but not this week. This week I am struggling . This week I want to see movement. This week my prayers feel like pleading. This week I am trying to remember that God is bigger than all of this. I know he is. I know God's plan for our family so much bigger than what I see and feel right now.

I will be praying this week that God uses this stage to teach me. I am not good at waiting and maybe God knew that I would need some extra practice. The end will be so worth the wait.

This week has been interesting. I feel like there are a lot of unknowns with adoption right now. I feel a little like life is on hold until our little girl is home. So many things have to stay still until the adoption is complete. I find myself sometimes wondering what the future will look like. I get nervous about how money will pan out and how timing will work. All our kids are close in age. Will there be a big gap between this daughter and the boys. How long will this go? Will we be stuck in this house forever? Silly questions, really. As I was praying God brought this passage to mind and I thought I would share it with you. 

Matthew 6:25-34

Do Not Worry

    ²⁵ “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? ²⁶ Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? ²⁷ Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life^[a]?    ²⁸ “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. ²⁹ Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. ³⁰ If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? ³¹ So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ ³² For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. ³³ But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. ³⁴ Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

I am a planner, but sometimes I find my planning turning to worry. I have to be careful that I give my future to the Lord and focus on what he has called me to right now. Right now, God has me in position of mommy to three wonderful little boys and a wife to an amazing man. Right now, God has provided a home, food, and many many blessings for us to enjoy. Right now, God has called us to wait and to learn lots of stuff he has to teach us to prepare us for what he has for tomorrow. 

delays?

So, much changes in the blink of an eye in adoption. I am learning that everything can cause possible hiccups. Our agency just posted this on their blog.  If the government does in fact shut down. This will cause some possible delays. Please continue to pray with us for Ethiopia and adoptions as there are several other aspects that could potentially cause more delays.

We are trying to remember that God has a plan and his timing is perfect. This is sometimes hard because it feels a little like we are living in limbo. Again, we know this is only a time, but it is a struggle at times to know what all God is doing with this.

Movin on up!

This week we went to a home school conference and had a blast. We were able to go to some very encouraging sessions, get all our homeschool goodies, spend time with our friends, meet some new friends who are also in the adoption process and also some who have brought their baby home, and had some much needed rest and time with just Dan and I. We had such a great time.

While we were there we went to Starbucks each morning to check our email and of course have some amazing coffee (Oh, peppermint mocha, how I love thee!) When I was looking at the Yahoo group I saw that there were lots of referrals!! So many that we moved up 5 spaces! We are number 20 on the list! (it is the unofficial list, but whatever it gives me a number. :)  We are so excited to see things moving again. It is encouraging to hear that some of the scary changes have actually improved things. I love that God can use stuff for his glory that our minds see as obstacles.

We are just praying that more people continue to pass court quickly so the referrals can continue to come. We are waiting and continuing to fundraise/save for the rest of the costs. We are so excited that God has provided so much so that we now are just saving for travel (about $10,000 more) God has been so faithful and I just can't wait to see the details that he has in store for our little girl's story. Again thank you to all who are continuing to pray with us as we go on this journey. We are so blessed.